normalcy is overrated

have you ever thought you had normal conversations and then realized that...well, you just don't. i thought i'd share some of the random convo's between my mother & i for the enjoyment of all.....

me: did you drug up tess (our dog) again or is she just tired?
mom: she's tired cuz she kept going back and forth between us and your dad & dan. what can i say, she's likes her men.
me: dirty skank.
mom: she is.

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me: one of my friends is taking an embryology class & they are going to go look at cadaver's right? but not the whole cadaver, just the reproductive organs. that's weird, isnt it? i mean, what are they going to do, just have a penis in a jar? just floating around?
mom: now you are totally going to have dreams of floating penis'
me: what, like i'm just chilling and talking to someone in my dream & a penis just floats by?
mom: yeah.
....
me: i hope you have lots of dreams about floating penis' (as i am leaving the room to head off to bed)
mom: do you even want me to go there? so many things i can say.
....
me: it can be like the new miriska hargitay greeting from 'the love guru'
mom: may you have dreams of floating penis' (bowing down)
me: may you have dreams of floating penis' too (bowing)